Looking for Logs

No, I am not aimlessly wandering through the Everglades in search of timber. Instead, I am looking for a new training log. I only have one week left in my current log, and I really don't like using online logs. There is something about flipping through the pages of an older log covered with sweat stains and little smiley faces on the margin from the days you had a great work-out.
The most practical thing for me to do would be to visit a store and buy a thick journal that I could use to track my training however I please.

Swimming
10 minute warm-up, freestyle
10 minute alt. easy/hard freestyle
5 minute cooldown

Easy Run
4.19 miles, 45:53 minutes, 10:57 pace

Hello size 4, it's nice to see you again

After a month of hard track workouts, getting rid of bread and other processed snacks, and checking the amount of sugar and sodium on labels, I finally fit into my size 3/4 jeans again. Yay!
This means that, come summer, I will be able to shop for leaner clothes for college. The only problem is that even when I fit perfectly into a size four dress, I still have to buy size 6 so that I don't show off too much leg.
While contemplating my wardrobe choices for college, I realized that I am more modest when it is my descision to be so. When it is my responsiblility to make my own choices, I find that I usually go with the responisble descision. It's probably because I have the same fashion taste as Ivanka Trump.  So, my parents don't need to worry about me going Girls Gone Wild on them. Not happening. 

Thoughts Before Bedtime

I love how our clothes match the picture frame. SEU had a photographer for the Preview Days who took photos of the attendees. I refused to take the picture without Tina at my side.

Beauty By The Book, Nancy Stafford
A little while ago, my youth pastor asked me questions regarding my past, allowing me to share things that I have kept bottled up forever - anger, hurt, betrayal, fear.  It was great to finally talk to someone other than my family about things that have consumed me for years. The book my youth pastor gave me is helping me to re-evaluate the way that I see myself, my pain, and more importantly, how God sees me. When I read the first few chapters tears were streaming down my face, and I can't stop writing notes down in my journal.  I couldn't believe that someone else had gone through the same hurts and emotions as me, and that I don't have to be defined by them forever. This book is helping me shift my perspective from myself to those around me. A big thank-you to my youth pastor and his sweet wife who have taken an interest in my spiritual and emotional well-being (:

That moment when you brew an aromatic, wonderful cup of coffee only to realize that it's almost your bed time and you should probably go without it since you have a race the next day. *Dramatic sigh*.
I am currently praying that...

• I will be able to snap a quick team photo before the meet tomorrow since my yearbook deadline is this Wednesday.
• My 4*8 relay team will perform exceptionally well.
• That I will have the strength and endurance I need to finish all of my events strong (800 relay, 1600 meters, 3200 meters)

Goodnight!

SEU Preview

SEU hosted a late night event called Our City, and I saw their advertising sign as an excuse to take a cute/cheesy campus-visit photo.

Me with Roxanne, the advisor for RAW tv.  I practically ran over to the journalism department when they began the faculty meet & greet. Afterwards I power walked right on over to the history department. Nerd for life.

Please excuse the granny pants

Signs never cease to amuse me

After staying up past 1 AM on Thursday night/Friday morning,  I needed a caramel macchiato. However, the Starbucks on campus wasn't open in the morning, so I walked to the cafe, where I paid for a white chocolate caramel latte. Not too bad at all. (This picture is from Thursday afternoon, where I happily squandered my two free free drink tickets at Starbucks. Maybe that's why I was able to stay up until 1 in the morning).

Tina and her coconut mango smoothie

College Visit and Four Miler

PBA's library, with a Einstein Bros. Bagels in the lobby

 As usual, my visit to a college made me totally eager to begin classes right then and there. PBA has a nice campus, and is exactly one mile away from the beach. I was creating running routes in my head during most of the visit. When my parents and I first arrived at the admissions office, we chilled in the lobby while waiting for the other prospective students to arrive and watched a video highlighting some of PBA's features.
After taking a general tour of the campus, we ate lunch in the cafe. I was extremely overwhelmed by all of the milling students and meal options in the area, so I just picked up a bowl of chicken and rice soup, which was pretty good. My parents then told me to get more food, so I went over to what I guessed was the healthier station and ordered beef strips stir fried with green peppers and an egg roll.
I didn't lift my eyes off of my food until the cafe emptied a little bit. I was experiencing my own version of an anxiety attack. Again. I had forgotten what it felt like - the nervousness, not meeting anyone in the eye, terrified of the prospect of anyone talking to me. The last time I had felt like this was during my Sophomore year of highschool, when I entered a crowded public school for the first time since elementary school.
These attacks always come when I am in crowded areas and feel isolated because I don't know anyone. They come during concerts, youth group gatherings, and situations like this. I felt the first stage coming during chapel. I was surrounded by people who knew each other and who seemed very outgoing. This is when I stopped smiling and began slipping into my introverted cave. My dad later said that it looked like if a cave appeared under my chair, I would have eagerly crawled into it. In the second stage of this attack, I can only think about my weight, and how I wish I could disappear or simultaneously drop 15 pounds, which explains my loss of appetite in the cafe. I usually feel very cast down during this stage, and am prone to mentally attack everything about myself- how I look, what I am wearing, etc.
The way that I crawl back into sanity is usually by finding a cup of coffee and praying, especially thanking God for all of the blessings he has given me. Bolting into a bathroom to cry never helps, but only pushes me further into a slough of despondency. I remember once, during a concert, I felt excluded from the group I was with, which was made up of my mom, sister, cousin, and a group of 20-somethings we knew from church. I slipped to the back and couldn't stop crying. My mom and sister couldn't understand what was wrong with me, and I couldn't tell them.
I have found that going for a run helps me regain my control over my emotions, helping erase my feelings of anxiety and sadness. I also am able to subconciously pray and really tell God what my mind is going through when I run. I come back feeling cleansed and like I have a sense of purpose.

Anyways, back to my visit. I was able to find a cappuccino machine in the cafe and take a walk with my parents, reviving my sense of enthusiasm and allowing me to smile again.  One really awesome thing that happened was that the admissions director arranged a tour of the Journalism building for me and another girl, Mackenzie. We had the opportunity to meet four faculty members, and observed the television broadcasting studio, the switch room, the editing room, the newspaper and yearbook center, and the equipment room. I have yet to experience that in any other college I have visited. Quite frankly, I believe that the opportunity to meet actual professors in human form and talk to them while visiting their habitats increased my favor of the school by 50%. It made it a tad easier to swallow the price tag of the university, which came out to $33,500 per year (including room and board).

Delicious. I keep my energy bars amidst my jeans so that my family doesn't mistake them for a snack. But really, it's pretty sad when you are looking for an energy bar to pack for before track practice only to realize that someone has been feasting upon your energy food. Once, I wanted to bake dark chocolate brownies, but in order to save the chocolate from consumption I had to hide the bag inside my oatmeal box. Apparently old-fashioned oatmeal is like a force shield.

Once we arrived back home I began my afternoon run after snacking on an orange and cinnamon graham crackers. Thanks to the 10 mph winds, it wasn't too hot. I had to stop and walk a few times when I could feel my lunch trying to crawl back out, which reinforces my suspicion that no matter how long I wait, I cannot run after eating red meat without it attempting to re-emerge into the daylight.

TOTAL WORK OUT: 4.03 miles, 48 minutes

Q&A

What is your favorite energy bar?

Right now, Clif, but I am dying to try Picky Bars (created by pro runner Lauren Fleshman)

Do you prefer your coffee hot or cold?

Hot. There is something about a warm cup of coffee, with the wisps of steam floating upwards, that feels very soothing. 

App-solutely Addicted

Kindle Fire (:

Ugh I need to clean the screen....

Due to my introverted nature, I have turned down Homecoming, Prom, and Gradbash, saving myself about $310 in ticket costs. I am like the princess of party poopers. However, every princess recieves some kind of tribute, and mine came in the form of a Kindle Fire in a lime green cover. :D
I consider this a pre-graduation present, a way of my parents saying, "Take this and enjoy your senior year without crawling from class to class like a hermit".  Thank-you to my parents!  

One of the cool things about the Kindle Fire is all of the apps. So far, I have downloaded Pandora, The Weather Channel, and Words with Friends. *nerd dance*

Here are some more photos of Tina's Birthday celebration, which has spanned about 3 days:

More birthday photos of my favorite sister!

Kyle (: He can beat me at chess

 I forgot to include this photo of Anna at the beach in my last post. The little diva loves swimming. After five hours at the beach, her mom asked her if she stayed long enough. Of course, Anna'a reply was no.  :)

 RyRy (my nickname for Ryan)

Tina's birthday

Gilly Hicks sweatpants I bought for the Tina. I knew that she would totally dig the green.

Told Mom to buy Tina  Nike running shoes, she's wanted a pair for ages. Choose green to match the sweatpants. 

Tina driving a jet ski with my Dad

Sisters <3

 Running hug/Attempt to immerse Tina in the water. Look closely enough and you can see my hard-earned shorts tan.


Anyhow, the first thing that I did after my family set up camp at the Beach was run. I went at a super easy pace and enjoyed the scenery. My first two mile splits were 9:31 and 9:58. Getting tired of veering around swarms of cyclists, other runners, and tourists, I kicked off my sneakers and ran two miles on the coast line. It was super awesome to feel the cool water on my feet as I ran. My splits on the sand were about a minute slower.
 I have found that I prefer wearing running skorts over shorts when I am running in places with lots of people, like the beach. Shorts are better for when I am with my team or solo. Another idiosyncrasy I have is wearing my hair a certain way depending on the workout. I think that I could write an entire book on the best situations to wear high vs. low ponytails, buns, top knots, horsetails (my primitive method of throwing my hair into a high ponytail and then braiding it), and french braids.

TOTAL WORK-OUT: 4.02 miles, 40:51 minutes
SPLITS: 9:31, 9:58, 10:31, 10:35

PR!!!

Remember my little rant on my last post??? The one about me not be anywhere near the shape I need to be in to race the 3200, let alone set a PR??? Well, I was wrong.
Yesterday evening, I won the 3200 meter race and SET A PR. It was one of the best races of my life. I originally didn't want to race the 3200, thinking that I wouldn't perform well after completing the 1600 and 4*8 relay with subpar times. Danny, however, wouldn't hear it. I mumbled and grumbled and called him a jerk as I did my warm-up jog and drills behind him. When they called for the athetes to line up at the starting line, I unethusiatically slipped out of my warm-up sweats and ambled over.
Once the pistol went off, I took off at a nice pace. By the first lap I had zoned into the red rubber track. It was just me and the run. It was beautiful.
Daniel's dad yelled out my splits every now and then, but I thought he was mistaken. The times he was yelling out seemed too fast. Whatever. I just kept on running.
I felt great when I crossed the finish line, despite my gasping for oxygen and grabbing onto Wadi to steady myself after he gave me a high five.  He thought I was dying or something. Right after giving the race officials my name, I looked for Danny's dad to find out what my time was. My watch read 13:52, but I thought that was too fast.
Walking across the field, I spotted Danny's dad and jogged over to him, asking him what my time was. He glanced up at me and said, 13:46.
I HAD JUST RUN A 13:46. A NEW PERSONAL RECORD!
I was beyond psyched. As a matter of fact, I ran over to Danny (who had just won first place in the 3200 with a time around 10 minutes) and gave him a hug, proclaiming that he was the best jerk in the universe. I then resorted to shrieking like the esctatic athlete that I was.
This is a huge mental breakthrough for me. I still can barely believe that I ran a 6:56 pace. Now that I have broken that 14 minute mark, how much lower can I go?

(For those of you who are not aware, Danny is my friend, as well as the best jerk in the world. He is a beast when it comes to cross-country and track. During school, we jabber about running in every class we have together.)

I thank God for giving me this great breakthrough. He is an awesome God.