One more week until invitationals, two more weeks until my team's first track meet. I have been focusing on 1,000 meter sprints and working on the baton technique for the 4 by 8 relay during practice. So far I am down for the 4 by 8 relay, 1600 meter, and 3200 meter race. However, I feel that I am nowhere near the shape I need to be in for the 3200 meter race. I have been gradually easing back into my running routine so I can get over my abductor strain, which means I have not been able to focus on a hard two mile run, let alone a mile run. :/
I also have to confess that I haven't been doing so hot in my devotions either. I just feel so far away from God. The Bible says to "come close to God, and God will come close to you", but I don't know how to get near God. It just has been pretty hard just to focus on reading the Bible. I try using devotional books, but none of them really work. The adult devotional books focus on trials and suffering, while the teenage books deal with seemingly frivolous matters such as relationships and heartbreak. I want something more. Life can't just be about God throwing us to the ground to see if we are resilient enough to bounce back up or smash into pieces.
I don't know. I am probably just disillusioned with Church in general.
When I longed for solid teaching and mentorship, I was told to "wait a little longer". I feel like I have waited too long and just don't care anymore. Actually, I still do care, but I don't think anyone else does.
We all go through dry times in our spiritual walk. These times are hard and I agree with you, frustrating and discouraging. Many times not devotionals or books or theology would help at all, only that strong belief that you feel in y our gut that Christ is the king and the Savior of your soul who passionately loves you like not other. Who has this amazing plan for your life that if He would reveal to you at once it would completely blow you away and leave you on your knees crying out "why did I ever doubt?". Hang in there my sweet niece and don't ever stop asking Him for the His water to be poured on you in the dessert of life, for those who seek will find, those who knock the door will be open and those who ask will be given. I love you and I will pray for you.
ReplyDeletePs Personally I find the Message Bible translation to be having a great impact on me this year.
Your Tia Loly