Saturday, October 15, 2011

Critique of Columbiana

On Columbiana's opening weekend I went to the theater with my little troupe of freshmen - Tina, Erin, Jose, and two of their friends. I had been waiting since the beginning of summer for Columbiana to come out and had watched and rewatched every trailer. I poured over Zoe Caldana's interview with Women's Health and was pleased to discover that she is from the Dominican Republic, which is my mother's birth country.

I sat spellbound as Zoe, known as Catalina in the movie, gracefully slid through air vents with her slender frame, appearing before her victims like an unexpected mist.  All of those upon whom she planned to carry out revenge woke up with a lipstick drawing of a Catalina flower on their chest before being killed - one victim was electrocuted by a fan that fell into his bath, another eaten alive by sharks, and others were left facing the barrel of a gun. All of these, however, were prelimary deaths with which Catalina was trying to lure the man who had killed her parents when she was nine years old. (SPOILER WARNING) At the end of the movie, the man who killed her parents was torn apart by two lupine pitbulls. You just see the dogs lunging towards the man inside of his van before the cameras move to the outside of the van, where viewers watch the van rock back and forth with the ambient sound of the dogs attacking their screaming victim. The movie is rife with violence and vengeance, but the main reason I watched it was to see a woman kicking some serious butt, minus the meaningless frivolity of movies like SALT starring Angelina Jolie.

Sadly, Columbiana was salted with some specks of frivolity as well.  The first thing that ticked me off was how Catalina would slip into the apartment of a man she was infatuated with (but barely knew) and wrap her skeletal body around him, which rapidly escalated into her shocked and somewhat pleased man getting laid.  They literally knew almost nothing about one another, and Catalina would usually be gone by early morning.
 Hey Hollywood, can you give an inspiring and empowering movie for the young women around the world that does not involve giving in to lust? I would personally love a movie where the woman plays hard-to-get and remains untouched all the way through the credits. Oh, and the violence can be directed towards breaking glass ceilings instead of flesh. Make it a bit more psychological.

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